“The Girl Who Begins To Plot” (Part III)

After the photoshoot, the contestants all return to the house to start the nomination process.

NOMINATIONS

This week, the contestants are nominating three of their housemates for elimination. However, their votes aren’t the only thing determining the nominees this week; they will be compounded with the judges’ and viewers’ scores to determine who is up for elimination. With that, let the second nomination ceremony… begin!

Kyungri: I nominate Todd, Marjan, and Gabriel. They’re all coming between me and my money. Todd is greedy, Marjan is dim but likes shiny things, and Gabriel is aggressive and territorial. None of them are safe to have around. We must get rid of them immediately.

Enzo: Gabriel is sleeping with, no sorry, married to my ex-wife. I have no problem with that. But he tried to create drama between me and him last week, and the more I think about it, the less I want to interact with him. I nominate him. I also nominate Todd for turning into the complete opposite of the charming man I met last week. Marjan… just too cute for me.

China: Honestly, I’m not sure about who I’m going to nominate, but I have to play by the rules every time if I want to win. And so, given the general strength of my competitors, I am going to vote strategically. I think these three individuals need to be knocked down a peg: Matthieu, Todd, and Harrison. I have nothing against them, but they are all pretty boys and you know how far those go in this competition without doing much… *shady soundbite plays during a flashback to last season’s pretty boy winner, Hudson*.

Marjan: Why do I have to do this? I was just out there dipping my cute toes with their pink toenails in the ocean while the fishies swam around them, I felt like a Disney princess! Sigh… all right, I nominate Matthieu, Enca, and Kyungri. Can I go now? No? I have to say why I don’t want them here? I don’t know! They’re all lovely but I like the other people more, what do you want from me?…

Mitchell: I don’t like this part of the competition… I understand it’s necessary but I’m just not into personally choosing who I want to go… but I guess I don’t really like Gabriel, he’s big competition. Harrison is great and all, but he also fits in the role of the shy guy coming out of his shell and the editors will be gunning for one of us to go soon, so……. And finally, this makes me really upset, but I have to think about my future in this competition if I want to take my mom the money… and Marjan is already taking my mind off the game… *sniffs*.

Todd: Hmm… should I be strategic or just go with the people I really don’t care for? Ah, what the heck. I think China is beautiful, I live for her, but she has such a strange personality and I don’t know where I stand with her, so sorry girl, but you have to go. Enzo is really nice to look at, but he’s a stick in the mud and should go. And Kyungri, ugh, that robot. Get her out!

Matthieu: I thought long and hard about this one, and in the end I went with who I thought needed this the least. Marjan is really rich, she could probably do really well for herself. China is also already successful, she can do so much with what she already has. I like Enca, I really do, but she’s the most famous of us all, and I feel like she’s putting up a front. I want someone authentic to look up to, but so far she seems to be hiding behind a façade!

Jessie: I’ll get straight to the point: Charlee played with me this week, and I really didn’t appreciate that. I’m not someone’s plaything. We have to treat each other with respect, and she’s done nothing but disrespect all of the people here! I fear that Marjan is in over her head, half of the time I don’t know if she’s going to make it through the night with all these cliffs around here… and Enca, I’m sorry, but I don’t think your head is in the game.

Enca: I know people are nominating me left and right. I know I’m big competition! I do have the most successful single of the year, after all, even I would be jealous of my success. Anyway, I’m just going to go with who I think is nominating me: Charlee is definitely gunning for me, Marjan does anything she sees the smarter people do, and Matthieu just doesn’t seem to like me… did I get them right? I did, didn’t I?

Harrison: I really dislike doing these, you know. I think Charlee should go home because she’s manipulating everyone and I don’t like seeing that. Mitchell is a cool guy, too, but he’s too shy for this competition… yes, I know that I am shy, too. I’d like to see Kyungri go home, as well. She’s so driven it’s scary.

Charlee: Still going to go for Harrison. I know the audience is probably loving him, but he’s spineless and probably easier to take out than Matthieu, and you know how much these shows love cute couples like that, ugh. I also want Enca to leave, now, she is so pretentious, walking around here like she owns the entire place. Good for you for your success, but in here you’re just one of us and on our level. Similarly for Enzo, GET HIM OUT! He’s the most ridiculously annoying “model” type I have ever met. Who died and made him king of the mediocre models?

Gabriel: I haven’t forgotten what Kyungri said about me last week. She can go, no one needs that attitude here. Enzo is my direct competition here, the handsome dad. Heck, we even had children with the same woman so obviously we have similar backgrounds. I can’t have that in here! And finally… Mitchell, I can’t stand his self-deprecating humor. He needs a few more years to really feel comfortable in his own body, and then he’d be a good competitor.

Louise: I think I’ve done a good job of avoiding people’s nominations. I’ve made friends with everyone! I think I’m safe this week, but I’ll nominate my biggest competition just in case: Jessie, Charlee, and Matthieu. I’m still not sure how I feel about Jessie, we’re too similar. I think we should have a conversation soon, but for now… I don’t trust Charlee at all, alliance or not. Matthieu… he’s big competition after last week. I’d like to see him go.

 ***

ajmkv: Housemates, if you’ll please gather in the living room for our evaluation of your work in the challenge this week, posing for an international Coy/Coy Swimwear campaign. Afterwards, we’ll reveal your combined score and announce who will be leaving us. This week, your score will be a combination of the judges’ and viewers’ scores, as well as your own nominations. That’s right, your nominations are only a part of the equation this week and won’t determine 100% who will be up for elimination.

Charlee: That’s trash!

ajmkv: This week to help us judge we have my good friend, the always lovely and flawless Jdbw, who joins us all the way from the UK! He may look like he’s sweet, but honey, he’s is going to rip into some of you and I cannot wait to see this.

Jdbw: Thanks Baejmkv for inviting me to this lil’ island couture skin-show. Look binches, I wasn’t dragged out of the (often intoxicated) pits of host hiatus-dom to judge a bunch of Unnie-teurs. I’m expecting T, I’m expecting A, and I’m expecting every single letter of the slayphabet in between m’kay? (Sure, I don’t know the letters – I had a rough childhood, OK? I wasn’t watching frickin’ Sesame Street.) Show me what you got and make sure it’s H-A-W-T. … (That’s the right spelling, right?)

ajmkv: Our viewers also ranked your photos online and have decided which ones they liked the best, and can I say that we have the sassiest viewers? You housemates aren’t ready for them. Their scores will be incorporated into your overall scores for this week, so let’s hope that you were able to impress them!

Before calling you out individually, let’s take a look at the final campaign shot for Coy/Coy. Remember that the winner will receive a solo campaign with them alongside the group campaign, so good luck to all of you!

ajmkv: There you have it! Coy/Coy has already posted this on their social media feeds, and the world is going crazy for your hot swimwear looks. A billboard with this ad has already been unveiled in San Myshuno’s fashion district so you all should be proud of yourselves for doing an excellent job.

Kyungri: Dr. Kim will be pleased to see his work on display on all of the fine billboards and magazines of the world. He’s not cheap, that Dr. Kim, but he certainly has done an excellent job.

ajmkv: We’ll now call you up individually for your evaluations, and first up is Kyungri.

Jdbw: Dr Kim best be earning commission because your silicone valley really put you in the best form for embracing your inner beach vixen. Do I think this is the best? Nope. Do I think there’s an air of squint in your eyes? I’ll say no, don’t want to get a lawsuit for borderline racism. But do I think the pose is romantic and the body is looking curvy like a plastic bowl on your kitchen counter? Yes Miss Korea, yes it does. 

ajmkv: Kyungri, this is a good look for you: simple, tasteful, and you’re actually showing some expression on your face. You manage to look sassy and, most of all, expensive. If I saw this ad in a magazine, I’d want to buy your swimsuit AND your fillers. Girl, you’re selling every part of this look! However, I do wish you had added a bit more oomph to the overall look.

Let’s hear what a viewer had to say.

@plasticgangnamunnie Saranghae unnie! I knew I should have gotten pack #3 at Dr. Kim’s, it looks sooo good on you! I can’t wait to go back and ask for the Kyungri special! #drkim #plasticunnies #thisfacedontmelt #askforpacknumber3

Scores:

ajmkv: 6

Jdbw: 7

Viewers: 7

Next up is our Italian supermodel, Enzo.

ajmkv: ENZO, I AM LIVING FOR THIS! I knew you were a model before this, but damn, boy, you knocked it out of the park! Your body looks amazing, your expression is dreamy and beautiful, and the night background adds an almost romantic tint to the photo. I love everything about it. I want to BE you.

Jdbw: Mr. Model by name, deed and reputation huh? Give this guy the role of Ken(zo) in the next Barbie’s Adventures in Planned Parenthood feature length film because Oppa got abs that could birth a new generation in a single contraction. I’m not surprised you did so well, I’m not surprised you nabbed the center role, I’m not surprised you made me buy 11 pairs of those swimshorts BUT the reason you’re not my top winner this round is exactly that – you didn’t surprise me. You got it, we know it – now what?

And now, for a viewer comment:

@daddiesforever91 This is why I like Enzo. Just look at that smoldering gaze, looking like he’s going to carry you home and look after you the whole way home… mmmmmm #daddiesofsimstagram #woof #gimme

Scores:

ajmkv: 10

Jdbw: 9

Viewers: 10

Up next is China.

Jdbw: Did you read the brand name and just run with it literally Ms. Thing? This isn’t a casting call for Forever 21 and, whilst you have a fabulous smile, you’re selling swimwear not Colgate. Resting on pretty in a line-up of hotties isn’t doing you any favours.

ajmkv: China… this isn’t my favorite picture of the week, to say the least. Your smile is beautiful and I love your tasteful swimsuit, but your expression just isn’t grabbing me as much as it should. You should have looked into the camera if you were going to be seductive. Instead, it looks like you’re looking at a faraway buffet dinner and thinking about how you’re going to slice into that baked potato… you can do so much better than this.

The viewers weren’t very happy with this, either:

@highheelstocutabinch I was so disappointed to see this! China can do so much better, I’ve seen pictures of her in court that are better than this. #lawyerscanbemodels #bitchwut #disappointment

Scores:

ajmkv: 3

Jdbw: 3.5

Viewers: 3

Up next we have Marjan.

ajmkv: Now this is what I’ve been wanting to see from you, Marjan. More than just a princess, you look like a seductress here! I wish you were looking into the lens as your hair is cutting off those beautiful lips and neck, but I do love this “come hither” expression and pose. However, it’s better in the solo shot, because in the group shot you kind of get lost. You could have fine-tuned this a little bit more and it would have gotten full points from me. Still, good job!

Jdbw: If China was playing coy, this is embracing COY in the most outlandishly devilish way. The hair cascading over your face and the décolletage touch work alluringly in your beauty shot (Charlee be pressed you stole ha bikini too) but in the full body shot you’ve suddenly morphed into the Headless Horseman if his stump turned into an ombre weave. With a little more toe pointing & a bit more success in finding your angles, this could have been in contention.

And an excited viewer says:

@PrincessAurora That’s my girl! People thinking you can’t do sexy, show them all that us princesses can be bad girl vixens when we want to! Love you, girlie! #princessmarjan #hot #sexy #beautiful #classy

Scores:

ajmkv: 8

Jdbw: 7

Viewers: 8

Next we have our resident comedian, Mitchell.

Jdbw: First of all, give the wardrobe department a raise for those creamy golden speedos. Secondly, where did all this rugged Pacific island-phwoar come from? We’re not thirsty binches here on the panel, because we’ve got five star 24/7 room service unlike y’all hoes, but we were pleasantly surprised by this sudden leap down hot street. Could you just look at the camera next time maybe please? Or into my eyes? Either or would be cool with me, it just kinda dampens the impact of what could have been a flawless shoot.

ajmkv: Mitchell, I like this shot because you don’t look afraid, which is what I expected from you. I know you’re self-conscious about your body, but you still rocked the shot. However, I wanted a little bit more power in your poses; you look great, but it’s a little more casual beach stroll when the brief called for confidence. With a little more of that, you could have had an excellent shot.

A viewer weighs in on the shot:

@islandmama WHO ELSE IS SHOOK? I thought Mitchell wouldn’t be comfortable with this challenge, but hellooo speedos! Who’s looking at the face when the body is that good? #yum #youmayleime #hawaiianpride

Scores:

ajmkv: 6

Jdbw: 6.5

Viewers: 6.5

Next up is Todd.

ajmkv: Consider me #teamtodd this week. This picture is everything I wanted from you! Quiet sass and class all around. Your eyes are piercing in this, they are really shining in this and that eye color is just… out of this world. I love how you’re running your fingers through your hair, but I do wish that your arm wasn’t so prominent in the picture. I want your green swimsuit! You’re serving Poison Ivy realness with your red hair, eyes, and green trunks. Amazing!

Jdbw: Unlike your fellow redhead, gurl didn’t come here to mess around building sandcastle effigies to Judith Butler did you hunty? My eyes were immediately drawn to you in the group shot—it was as if you’d drawn a magic circle around your space and pushed everyone else out of your way. Sure you probably have few friends because of it but hey, a good shot was the brief not how many people will come to your birthday party. My only gripe was the elbow smothering the spotlight from your pretty face in the beauty shot but hey, some people did that. #ElbowforElbow: coming to a firecrotch’s Grindr page near you!

Smitten viewer is smitten:

@fangs4life Todd looks like a vampire with his red eyes here! He can come bite this neck anytime, all of my blood is his for the taking. #typeb #bitemehard #squirtmybloodonyourbody #yum

Scores:

ajmkv: 9

Jdbw: 8.75

Viewers: 9

Next is Matthieu.

Jdbw: Do you need a cuddle? My trailer is open weekdays until 7pm boo. No but serious, why the down-trodden puppy act? The level of #vulnerability actually works in your beauty shot—that 3/4 angle tho~ woof—but your mind appears elsewhere in the group photo. Do you have an itchy shoulder? Was there an exciting shell on the sandy shore? I’mma need much more from you Matthieu if you really want that FCO again.

ajmkv: I agree with Jdbw, I don’t think this was a great shot for you. I like how the solo shot exudes a sort of melancholy feeling, but in the group shot you look almost uncomfortable. I get the pose, but it just didn’t work when you were surrounded by other people. You aren’t behind anyone but it almost looks like you want to be, and that’s not going to sell any swimsuits!

A viewer has something to say:

@veganunnie Matthieu is my favorite in the competition, but he needs to get out of his head if he wants to win. Maybe the drama is getting to him, and in this picture it sure looks like it… chin up, baby! #cheerup #matthison

Scores:

ajmkv: 6

Jdbw: 4.5

Viewers: 7

After Matthieu’s critiques, the contestants take a break.

~•~•~•~•~

Tune into Part IV here!