“The Girl Who Judges Everyone” (Part V)

The fourth round of the challenge begins, and Louise is facing China next. She doesn’t feel too good after seeing Harrison rip into Gabriel, and this has made her feel less confident. China, on the other hand, is still riding on a high after she’s officially back in the competition. She wants to win the whole challenge, and now she feels like she can do it for sure. She also has an ace up her sleeve.

Louise: I, uh, want to congratulate China for officially being back in the competition! It’s just too bad that she’s going to follow in the footsteps of most comeback competitors: she’s going to be gone in the next elimination, that’s a given!

China: Oh, really honey? Because I don’t see myself going home without the prize.

Louise: We’ll see about that! Because you—

China: And speaking of prizes… Louise, I know what prize you’ve been eyeing.

China: And girl, you’re going to get that prize if you want it! And let me tell you, it’s quite good. It’s like biting into a thick hoagie when you’re starving, if you know what I mean…

Louise: I don’t know what you’re talking about…?

China: Oh please… everyone here knows what I’m talking about.

Charlee: What is it, girl? Spill the tea!

Jessie: Charlee, shut up! Stop it!

Marjan: I feel confident that I know what’s going on, actually. It’s Louise’s own turtle daddy!

Enzo: *to no one in particular* Oh god, can this be over? Another opportunity for Gabriel to get a girl? Please…

Gabriel: Well… this could be confusing, but I feel like I can feel the vibes. This could be a positive thing! But poor Louise looks like she’s going to clamp a hand on China’s mouth. I’ll have to talk to her later…

China: But it’s all good, girl. I say this all with lots of love! You know your secret is safe with all of us. We’re all cheering you on! Soon enough you’ll get your hands on that booty.

Louise: *very stiffly* Lovely, thank you.

China: And speaking of bottoms… how are you doing tonight, Enca? Having fun? *Enca screams with delight*

Enca: Ooooh, you bitch!

China: Y’all, it’s no surprise Enca loves likening herself to a peach… she chose a fitting symbol to represent her stay here in the competition. Bottoms all around!

Enca roars with laughter. It’s obvious that she’s taking the jokes well, and after a short while she chooses China as the winner of the battle. She’s still giggling as Louise walks past her and heads to her seat, ignoring Gabriel’s probing looks. Jessie looks at Louise with a worried expression on her face, but isn’t acknowledged, either. Louise looks like she’s thinking deeply about something. Around them, the housemates are getting fidgety; they’re anxious to get the battles over and grab drinks. It’s been a long day of bad jokes and not-so thinly-veiled insults, so they’re ready to call it a wrap.

Matthieu: *voiceover* I’m confident Harry is going to do a great job! He’s up against Kyungri, and I love her too, so I’ll be happy either way. They’ve both done a great job and they’re probably going to be in the top this week, so it’s all uphill from here. I’m excited to see what they’ve come up with, though!

Harrison and Kyungri walk up to the microphones, and look at each other, as if sizing each other up. Harrison laughs, and Kyungri gives him a warm smile. Then she gets serious, and gives him a serious look.

Kyungri: So, Harrison, tell me: how is it going with Matthieu? Wedding bells ringing yet?

Harrison: You know what, Kyungri, it’s going swell.

Kyungri: That’s lovely to hear! I hope someday we will all have beautiful relationships, just like yours. We can all hope!

Harrison: Don’t despair, Kyungri! You know, I’ve taken a lot of inspiration from you in this competition, you’re truly a role model!

Kyungri: Oh really? That’s sweet! Why’s that?

Harrison: Well, when I think about a positive example of a great relationship, I think about your beautiful, sublime, and healthy relationship… with your plastic surgeon!

Everyone laughs, including Kyungri. Harrison looks pleased that his joke goes over well, as he was nervous that Kyungri wouldn’t take it well, but she’s laughing harder than everyone else.

Kyungri: Oh, you all can only WISH that you had something as fulfilling as I do with Dr. Kim! But Harrison, I think you’re going to need a visit to the good doctor soon enough, you know…

Harrison: *giggling* Oh god, I can’t wait for this. Why?

Kyungri: Because soon… very very soon, I imagine, your face is going to be stuck on one expression… *she makes a face and everyone loses it, laughing*

Kyungri: *imitating Harrison* But but but but… Matthieu, my man, my prince, it’s just so……… BIG. I don’t know if it will fit! I could eat it up right away but… I don’t know if I can!

Everyone laughs. Harrison is bright red, but laughing too. Matthieu looks embarrassed at first, but as he looks at Kyungri’s over-the-top expression, he can’t help but laugh just as hard as everyone else.

Todd: *voiceover* Kyungri serving us raunchy humor and…. lord, her face is MOVING, y’all. Into complex expressions! It’s a miracle! But guys, really, oh my God. I can’t get over that expression. She really committed to it! She’s joking that it’s Harrison’s face that will get stuck doing that, but I’m afraid that it’s hers that will get stuck, honestly…

Kyungri: *still imitating Harrison* I know you’re French but I didn’t expect the baguette to be a whole meal, daddy! Unghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh *moans in an extravagant manner* Dip that ladle in my vichyssoise! Put that knack in my choucroute! Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm that pain in my chocolat!

Patricio: *voiceover* No one could stop laughing. Kyungri, KYUNGRI being all silly like that, no one saw it coming. She really came out of nowhere with that, and I’m laughing so hard! It’s just amazing that she has all of that in her.

Enca: Aaaaaaaaah, you two. This is a really hard choice for me, you know. Harrison, you know I love you very much, but… I think Kyungri’s got you beat here. Not that you weren’t great! But… yeah. Kyungri, you did THAT. Probably my favorite moment of the night! We had a little tension last night, but honestly I’m looking forward to seeing you in the finale. Harrison, good job!

***

The final round of the night begins, and China faces Kyungri in the last battle. The housemates are excited about the last faceoff, both because China and Kyungri are electrifying, and also because the end of the challenge is finally in sight.

As the battle begins, China and Kyungri gently rip into each other. They make jokes about their motivations, about their housemates, about the drama that’s unfolded, and even some jokes about the production team and the host of the show. Everyone is into the show, laughing all the time at the clever quips. It seems like China and Kyungri are neck and neck, with neither of them really faltering.

ajmkv: *voiceover* Yeah, I’ve been watching the whole thing from back here! I don’t want to intimidate the housemates with my immediate presence, after all. But gosh, these two girls have stomped all over the competition! The jokes were, um, lacking tonight, but these two have really pulled out all the stops! It could be anyone’s game at this point, Enca has a hard choice! Either way, I’m happy we got some fun moments out of this.

China: Kyungri, you’re close with Matthieu, aren’t you? I see what you’re doing! Clinging to the gays for an easy storyline! I feel like you look at them and you get dollar signs in your eyes.

Kyungri: Well, it’s long been known that gay men and fabulous bitches like me make good teams, so are you just jealous that I befriended them first, or…?

China: Oh no no no, I was just curious! But since we’re talking about them, do you think that those two will make it to the end? At this point, Harrison’s v-card is probably the biggest asset, ha, to this competition!

Matthieu: *voiceover* I’m honestly getting a little tired of everyone talking about us. What is it with our relationship that makes everyone want to call us out? I don’t want to sound resentful, but China has been making some comments that are just rubbing me the wrong way. Could she maybe stop?

Kyungri: Well, it makes sense, no? You’re picking out their relationship as if it was the goal in the competition because the one relationship *coughs* sorry, hook-up you had here was with a person who is notorious for having his fingers in too many taco salads. Or am I wrong?

China: Well…

Kyungri: I rest my case.

Enzo: *voiceover* I don’t want to sound petty, but I do hope that Kyungri takes this one! She’s really killing it, and she’s ripping into everyone without giving it a second thought. She’s my pick to win!

Kyungri: Anyway, everyone. We all have to have love for each other! Listen, everyone loves a list, and the K&GI Season 2 list goes like this: Patricio, desperate; China, apparently moist; Mitchell, awkwardly endearing; Todd, bitchy queen; Charlee… next; Enca, the juiciest bottom; Enzo, meh-l model; Jessie, who?; Louise, clueless; Gabriel, thirsty; Marjan… girl, what even?; Matthieu, Romeo; Harrison, gay Juliet; and me? Well, honey, if you haven’t figured out that I’m the queen yet, then where have you been all season?

Todd: Yassssssss queen, you better work! Rip into us!

Charlee: Don’t let your wiring melt with all the overheating you’re submitting it to!

Enca: OK, girls, I think I’ve heard enough! I’ve really liked both of you tonight, but I can only choose one of you to win this challenge. But before that, let me give you some information that’s totally not being whispered in my ear microphone by ajmkv about the way this challenge will be scored.

China, you’re back in the competition, and this means that you’re also up for nominations from your housemates. All of us submitted our nominations right before the challenge, as you’ll remember, and the elimination order this week will be determined by that and also… *into her earpiece* wait, what was that? Oh… *to the housemates* those scores will be combined with points you get from winning a battle in the knockout stage with the eight contestants. So, if you won one battle, two nominations will be subtracted from your total. Two wins, and four more will be subtracted. If you win the whole thing, you’ll have six more subtracted!

Now, honestly, I’m over this role and outfit, it’s too hot and I can’t wait to take it off, so… I’m going to announce the winner. It was hard to choose, but… the winner is…

Kyungri!

Enca: Kyungri, congratulations! You’ll have 12 nomination votes removed from your total for winning three battles. PLUS, you’ve won a magnificent prize: immunity from the next elimination!

Kyungri: Thanks everyone! It’s been a pleasure telling everyone only true things about you all. I’m honored to accept this prize!

Louise: Yeeeeeah, Kyungri! Congratulations!

Jessie: You go, girl!

Marjan: Just wait until I tell all of this to turtle daddy!

Charlee: Awwwwwwwww damn. I guess every fembot has her day!

***

After the challenge has ended, everyone heads to the bar for a drink, celebrating Kyungri’s victory. Everyone is happy and buzzing, but one person holds back and stays outside.

Gabriel had tried to talking to Louise after the challenge ended, but she gave him a look that said that she didn’t want to talk to him. He’s upset at her reaction, and goes off to a corner of the outdoor bar to be alone. He lights a cigarette and puffs away at it, lost in his thoughts. He’s soon joined by Jessie, though, who asks him if she can join him. He accepts and offers her a cigarette, which she takes.

Gabriel: So, that challenge, huh…

Jessie: It was tough for both of us for different reasons, I’m sure.

Gabriel: Oh, it was just what I expected: an excuse to say rude things about each other under the guise of being friendly. But hey, if that’s what sells the product…

Jessie: *shaking her head, annoyed* Gabriel, I know that you have a thing for Louise. And you know very well she’s into you, too. So you’re going to do something about it, OK? No leading her on if you don’t want to commit.

Gabriel: Oh… OK. We’ll see how this turns out.

Jessie: Thank you. She’s my friend, and this situation has been hard on her.

Gabriel: Yeah, I’m sorry. I’ll try to be better. *puffs on his cigarette and blows out smoke* What about you? How are you feeling?

Jessie: Well… I’m sure I’ll be going home after this. I messed up.

Gabriel: We all did… it’s really out of our hands now.

Jessie: *looks down at her hands* I guess so.

***

At the call-out ceremony the next day, people look nervous. ajmkv wastes no time in announcing the results of the challenge and nominations.

ajmkv: Housemates, it’s so nice to see you again so soon! I had lots of fun last night, and I’m so excited to announce the results of the challenge. It’s going to be hard to see someone be up for elimination, but that’s the way things go, right?

Now, moving right along, let’s announce the obvious First Call-out for this week…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Kyungri!

Kyungri, congratulations! You won the challenge, have immunity next week, and had 12 nomination votes subtracted from your total, giving you a score of -8. It’s so nice to see you here after you were in the bottom last week. Keep it up!

Kyungri: And that’s how you bounce back from a flop, everyone! At the top is where I belong, and it feels soooooo good to be the very first person to get two first call-outs this season. You all watch me just take this whole thing!

ajmkv: Now let’s call our second housemate safe from elimination…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Harrison!

Boo, it’s been amazing to see you come out with a rougher side. We all loved it! You had two points knocked off your total, bringing it to -1. Let’s keep seeing more facets to you, Harrison!

Now, for the third contestant…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

China!

Welcome back to the competition, China! It’s been a stellar week for you. Even though most of your housemates voted for you—because they’re threatened?—you had 6 points knocked off your nomination total, which means you have a score of 0. I’m so excited to see what you bring next week!

The fourth person I’m going to call is…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Louise!

You also have a score of 0 after you had two points knocked off your total nomination score. It’s good to see that your housemates like you a lot! I hope you continue to surprise us in the competition.

The last person to be safe is…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Gabriel!

Oh Gabriel… I’m happy you’re safe, but I want to see you be so much more than that! You lost your only battle, and that’s unfortunate. However, the people in the Bottom 3 also lost their battles and had more nomination votes than you. So Gabriel, you’re safe, but please do something next week. Fight for your spot!

This means that the Bottom 3 and up for elimination this week are Matthieu, Jessie, and Marjan. I’m sorry to say this, but them’s the rules! You each received three nomination votes, and since you had none of them subtracted, your scores are the lowest.

Marjan: Oh no, not again! I don’t want this to be the end of the road for me… I CAN’T let this be the end of the road for me, there’s just so much on the line…

Producer: What is on the line, Marjan?

Marjan: Oh, if only you knew…

Matthieu: In the bottom again! This is my third time! I can’t go… I just can’t leave yet! I want to stay, I want to improve… and I want to stay with Harrison…

~•~•~•~•~

And there we have it! Episode 9 is almost completely done and dusted. Did you like the comeback girl? Between us, I was surprised that y’all picked her in last episode’s poll. I didn’t realize that she was that well-liked! But, there you go, there are some surprises even for me! Now, it’s in your hands once more. Who do you want to save this week? Will you spare Marjan in her moment of apparent need? Or will you maintain the dream of #Matthison alive? Or will you give Jessie one more chance to prove her appeal? The choice is yours, vote wisely!

Also, if you’re enjoying this story, please let me know! I love getting comments, they really make me happy. Rip into me, or shower your favorite contestant with love, it’s all good in my eyes!♥

Tune into Part VI here and find out who goes home!